Why do I keep starting a routine and quitting?

Chapter 3 Eliminate your why Nots. Most people have had the experience of starting a new fitness plan only to abandon it completely or revert back to their old habits. Name one person who hasn't made working out part of their New Year's resolutions at some point in their lives. We often start with tons of enthusiasm, launching head-on into a brutal workout routine. Perhaps we've tried to cram as much exercise into our downtime as we possibly can, or suddenly begun moving at a pace that's, frankly, well beyond us. Too often the end result is that we crumble as soon as we start, feeling even slightly overwhelmed. It's actually quite possible to become overwhelmed at the very thought of starting an exercise, even before you take the first step.

I wanted to spend every moment with them. What's not to love about watching a child's miraculous development? I wanted to be with them for every great milestone, the first smiles, the first chuckles, the first words. However, I knew I had to balance this love fest with my fitness, and at first I didn't handle it well at all. What's not to love about watching a child's miraculous development? I was in the midst of building my fitness retails, this logging at 50 to 60 hours per week, trying to maintain a baseline level of health and fitness and, on top of that, trying to be a great father and husband, knowing that my health and fitness was still a priority to me. I would spend an hour or so at the gym after work, which is actually a two hour time commitment or more after factoring in the commute and shower time and, of course, conversations around the waterfowl.

Right, they give up, they stop, they give in, I guess, to that mental stop sign, right, and I'd love to just hear your thoughts on that, to just go a little bit deeper, on the psychology of why we dislike fitness, but also why we won't continue if we know it's going to do something good for us in the long term. Just on that part. As I said earlier, if you ask a lot of people, they will never say they dislike. Right. That's a problem. That's a problem in itself. You've got to understand that. It is challenging to do on a consistent basis. And so why is it? And the more we understand things, the more it will resonate with the cognizant mind.

Right, they give up, they stop, they give in, I guess, to that mental stop sign, right, and I'd love to just hear your thoughts on that, to just go a little bit deeper, on the psychology of why we dislike fitness, but also why we won't continue if we know it's going to do something good for us in the long term. Just on that part. As I said earlier, if you ask a lot of people, they will never say they dislike. Right. That's a problem.

Whose dreams are you supporting? What results are you working toward when life goes sideways and you physically can't make it to the gym? That doesn't mean you can't work out or move your body with purpose Heck. No, you are your own best piece of fitness agreement. Not only is your body free to use, but it's nearly always available to you. Even if you're dealing with an injury, you can modify your movement so you can still work out as long as you have a body and you have the ability to move. You can exercise, as emerald says. But the no willpower excuse one of my favorites. I hear a lot of people complain that they have no willpower. They tell me I want to work out but I always give up because I'm just too weak. Will I Counter this excuse by telling people to find something that they enjoyed doing and then really feed their connection to that activity.

Nothing can be further from the truth. The fact is, we all have busy lives. Only professional athletes can work hours of cardio, strength training and conditioning into their everyday routine because it's their job to do so. You do not have to reinvent your lifestyle in order to accommodate a new fitness program, because that simply isn't sustainable. For example, I remember my good friend John. He was excited about his newly purchased DVD fitness program. He was committed to making it work for him and was sure he could adopt into it the everyday routine. John was married. He works 50 hours a week and has children, along with coaching commitments. John was struggling to maintain his relationship as the only time they saw each other was on weekends and evenings after the kids went to bed. But he was sure that he could fit in an extra 6 to 8 hours a week to the fitness program.

Where's that opportunity? Every 24 hours? And it would have to change on the week to week. This is how I do my own calendar. Even Now, when I look at my week to week, I try to block in the family stuff as well as my fitness stuff. First, because I know if I prioritize those two things, I feel really good at the end of the week, like I've had a fulfilling week and I've honored the things that are most important. Now, on top of that, around those things, I plug in all the other stuff that's important too, like my client calls my podcasting right, my own personal passion, projects like Toastmasters or other public speaking opportunities.

It's being able to function and move about freely, to play with my kids and feeling able to try a new sport or activity without worrying that I'll injure myself. I like the idea of being able to say yes to anything physical, knowing that I'm not limited by my state of health or fitness. If you're really struggling to find your why try to embrace the process of discovery. Start by analyzing your current fitness habits, your general approach to health. Where can you make a small but sustainable shift? How much water are you drinking? Are you getting enough sleep at night? How much time do you spend moving your body each day? Do you exercise at all? Do you play any sports? What do you typically eat? It's all about making little, everyday choices that will improve your health.

Fifteen minutes. Two sessions a week. It has to be small enough that skipping it would be obviously ridiculous. Your maximum does not need planning. Your minimum does. Everyone designs their program for a week when nothing goes wrong. You have perhaps eight of those a year. Design for a week with a sick kid and a deadline in it, then let the good weeks be a bonus. Not five things on Monday. One thing, for four weeks, until it stops taking a decision. This feels insultingly slow and it is the only version I have seen work at scale. Not a coach necessarily. A friend who will notice. Most of the men who succeed have someone who would ask about it if they stopped. Because it will. The results arrive in month three and four, and the men who quit almost all quit in the window between doing the work and seeing the work.

Seven years ago I suffered a bad bout of Excusitis. I was a fitness professional earning a living helping people overcome their excuses. What a hypocrite, right? Originally published on LinkedIn on 5 November 2015 and republished here with light editing only. This is the earliest surviving written record of the thirty minutes a day framework , which appears in full in the closing paragraphs. FIG. 01 November 2015. The earliest written record of the two percent framework. Most people have had the experience of starting a new fitness plan, only to abandon it completely or revert back to their old habits. Name one person who has not made working out part of their New Year's resolutions at some point in their lives. We often start with tons of enthusiasm, launching head-on into a brutal workout routine.

Ask a man over 40 how many times he has started again and he will usually laugh before he answers. Five. Six. He owns the equipment. He knows what to do. FIG. 01 A man who gets six weeks in and stops is telling you about the fuel, not the engine. Ask a man over 40 how many times he has started again and he will usually laugh before he answers. Five. Six. He has lost the same fifteen pounds three times. He owns the equipment. He knows what to do. He has proven, repeatedly, that he can do it for six weeks. That last part is the interesting part, and it is the reason I do not believe this is a discipline problem. A man who cannot do something never gets six weeks in. A man who gets six weeks in and then stops is telling you something about the fuel, not the engine. Because the thing that got you started is not a thing that can keep you going.

You lower the bar until motivation stops being the deciding factor. Pick the smallest amount you would do on your worst day, build the week for a bad week rather than a good one, change one default a month, and get one other person who would notice if you stopped. Why do I keep quitting after a few weeks? Because month one feels like nothing is happening. The visible results arrive in month three and four, and most men quit in the gap between doing the work and seeing the work. Measuring what you control, rather than the scale, is what gets you across that gap. Fothergill, E., Guo, J., Howard, L., et al. (2016). Persistent metabolic adaptation 6 years after The Biggest Loser competition. Obesity, 24(8), 1612-1619. Subsequent analysis arguing that metabolic adaptation is largely observed during negative energy balance and may be overstated as a persistent effect.

The men who hold onto progress are the ones whose plan survives a bad week, a work trip and a sick kid. Consistency at 70 percent beats perfection you abandon in week three. The 2% Solution. Play it here, with the full transcript on the page. The least exercise that actually does something, and the part everyone leaves out. You have done it five times. It is not discipline, and the fix is unglamorous. Seven years ago I went looking for four dads over 40 to test an idea. What it became, and what it refuses to promise.

That story is wrong, and the DadBody project exists to prove it. He does not lack knowledge. He lacks a structure small enough to survive his actual life, and other men to answer to while it does. I have been in the fitness industry since the late nineties. I owned gyms, I trained hundreds of clients, and I watched the same pattern repeat until I could not unsee it. A man would arrive motivated, train hard for six weeks, hit his goal, and then slowly return to exactly where he started, plus a few pounds and minus some confidence.

That choice to say no more, enough is enough, let's do this, helped me shape myself into who I am today. The story and then some is shared in my book, the Whole Life Fitness Manifesto. My why, which I share often, is all about connection. I am enthralled with connecting with people, whether it is my family, my friends, or my tribe. This drive for connection to others underscores my very being. It is a vital, addictive source of enjoyment in my life. I get a huge kick out of being able to help others become healthier and happier; this gives me my joie de vivre that makes me jump out of bed every morning. The more people I reach, the greater the impact on my online community, as other leaders invariably emerge to carry forward this fitness movement, like ripples on a pond. This is why the Whole Life Fitness Manifesto came to be.

I have coached in this city for close to thirty years, and for most of that time I was not a very good personal trainer. Good at the training, bad at the business of it, and the reason for that is the reason men over 40 come to me now. FIG. 01 Dai Manuel, Vancouver. If you searched for a fitness coach in Vancouver, you have probably already tried the usual route. A trainer, three sessions a week, a good first month, and then life happened and the whole thing quietly unravelled. That is not a character flaw. It is a design flaw. Three hours a week with a trainer means 165 hours a week without one. The gap is where every result is decided, and it is the gap the entire personal training model politely ignores, because its revenue depends on you needing it again next year. I coach men over 40, mostly dads, mostly men who are successful at everything except this.