From the archive
Four simple phrases for thriving relationships
Why do some relationships flourish while others flounder? It is often rooted in the simplest of phrases.
Dai Manuel · Coach Moose · Vancouver
Originally published on LinkedIn on 18 December 2023 and republished here with light editing only.
Have you ever wondered why some relationships flourish while others flounder? It is often rooted in the simplest of phrases.
Here are four I think every person needs.
I am wrong
Admitting when we are wrong is not just good for the soul. It builds the environment of trust and openness that everything else depends on. It is also the hardest of the four to say first.
You are right
Acknowledging your partner's perspective matters. Recognising and appreciating how someone else sees a thing, out loud, changes the temperature of a disagreement faster than being correct does.
I am sorry
A genuine apology can be transformative. Not the apology that is really a defence, the one that shows you understood the impact of what you did.
I love you
Saying it and meaning it has effects on the person saying it as much as the person hearing it. It is not a small thing and it should not be rationed.
The work is not knowing the four phrases. It is meaning them, and saying them first, which is the part nobody finds easy.
The original version of this post attributed each phrase to a study, naming journals and universities but no authors, titles or years. I could not verify any of the four to a specific paper, so rather than repeat citations that cannot be checked, the claims are stated plainly as what they are: a coach's view after thirty years, not a research finding. If the underlying studies turn up, they go back in properly cited.